Leadership is Like Sex

Bear with me.
I spoke last week at a Young Professional Leadership Group meeting about the importance of SELF leadership, which is especially foundational at the intersection of leadership and business development.
You know how you get in a zone when you’re speaking, and you say something unplanned, unscripted, and unrehearsed — and it makes an impact?  Well, I had one of those moments with this group.
We were talking about leadership and guiding others. I was extolling the virtues of having permission and then letting people know what you like and how you like it, asking for what you like, etc. and out of my mouth I hear the words, “It’s like sex”.
Well, this meeting was at 7am and not only did that comment wake everyone up, but it caused me to blush.  Which ended up creating an openness and intimacy in the group dialogue, much to my surprise. Authenticity, baby!
Anyway, I got the following e-mail comment from one of the participants later that day: “Have you read the book “Fascinate” by Sally Hogshead?  If not, I think you will find it very beneficial with your work.  Whether you knew it or not, you used the lust trigger in a very effective manner this morning.”
I did not know that! I thought it was an embarrassing blunder!  Lust trigger.  Who knew?
Here’s what Amazon says about the book:
“What triggers fascination, and how do companies, people, and ideas put those triggers to use?
Why are you captivated by some people but not by others? Why do you recall some brands yet forget the rest? In a distracted, overcrowded world, how do certain leaders, friends, and family members convince you to change your behavior? Fascination: the most powerful way to influence decision making. It’s more persuasive than marketing, advertising, or any other form of communication. And it all starts with seven universal triggers: lust, mystique, alarm, prestige, power, vice, and trust.
Fascination plays a role in every type of decision making, from the brands you choose to the songs you remember, from the person you marry to the employees you hire. And by activating the right triggers, you can make anything become fascinating.
To explore and explain fascination’s irresistible influence, Sally Hogshead looks beyond marketing, delving into behavioral and social studies, historical precedents, neurobiology and evolutionary anthropology, as well as conducting in-depth interviews and a national study of a thousand consumers, to emerge with deeply rooted patterns for why, and how, we become captivated.”
Of course, I bought the book!

Comments (2)

It goes back to the essential idea that success is all about who you are, instead of marketing techniques. Sure, it’s nice to look good/make your product look good, but what people are looking for, what they really want, is a part of you. The part of you that fascinates.
Let’s put all our intentions on that part 🙂

You are so right, Seb!
Funny update to report on this post…It got a retweet from Sally Hogshead herself! I must say I’m highly enjoying her book and learning a LOT!

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