You’ve gotta see this video from TEDxHouston, where the researcher/storyteller Brene Brown shares her learning from a decade of research into the intangibles of connection, fear, vulnerability, and worthiness.
It’s a 20 minute video, so make sure you’ve got time – it’s brilliant! And she’s funny, too.
A few notes I jotted down while watching it:
- Connection is why we’re here
- Connection is the source of purpose and meaning in our lives
- Shame is defined as a fear of disconnection or a fear we won’t be worthy of connection
- We all have the excruciating vulnerability of “I’m not good enough”
- Allow yourself to be really seen in order to create connection
- A sense of worthiness comes from a strong sense of love and belonging
- Those who live with that sense of love and belonging are only one variable away from those who struggle for it
- The differentiating variable is that they believe they are worthy of love and belonging
- Courage is to tell the story of who you are with your good heart, from the latin word “cour” or heart
- Be imperfect, have compassion for yourself, connection is a result of authenticity
- let go of who you think you should be for who you are
- fully embrace vulnerability: what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful
- vulnerability is necessary: the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, to invest in a relationship, to say “I love you” first
- we numb vulnerability with addictions, but you cannot selectively numb emotions, so when you numb the bad feelings you numb everything
- you numb joy and happiness
- we make everything uncertain CERTAIN: religion, politics
- blame is a way to discharge pain and discomfort
- YOU are worthy of love and belonging
- Let yourself be deeply seen
- Love with your whole heart even when it hurts
- Believe: I AM ENOUGH
Here’s Brene in her own words: