In my book, Seal the Deal, I talk about how important it is in the sales process to not have any attachment to getting the deal. You have to be willing to let it go and walk away, because if you are attached to a particular intended outcome, your attachment and the flip side of that coin (all the emotions associated with not getting it) will create a very different reality for you. It impacts who you are being in the conversation, and what shows up more loudly than your great product or services is your desperation and neediness. Anyway, I came upon this brilliant blog post at Dream Your Life Positively, and while the post is written about conscious creation in life, it applies to exactly what I’ve been teaching about detachment in sales. What I love about Tania’s post below is the effortless part! 🙂 Wishing you effortless abundance always, whether you’re selling coaching or anything else in this innovative economy!
Effortless Detachment – the Missing Key to Conscious Creation.
By Tania Kotsos
Detachment from your desired outcome is vital to creating your ideal reality. To be attached to your desires is to live in the fear that they will not materialize and traps you in a continuous state of desire. Attachment to any thing or any one turns love into fear and belief into doubt. Faith allows you to detach yourself from the outcome and transforms your desires into your choice.
Attachment is Giving Away Your Power
The instant you attach yourself to a specific person’s actions or words or to a certain outcome, you give your power away to external forces and circumstances. In effect, you give away your power to create your own reality.
To be attached to any one or to any thing is to tell yourself that you are somehow incomplete without that person, thing or event in your life. In so doing you fail to see the divine perfection in what is, as it is. Instead, you create within yourself a desperate need to control the process and a sense of doubt as to whether your desire will manifest. Attachment breeds doubt and as Kahil Gibran said, “doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother”.
Detachment Transforms Desire into Will
Paradoxically, desire keeps your desires away from you because to desire something is to acknowledge its absence in your life. When you become certain of the outcome, then your desire becomes your will. Your will is your intention, it is your choice. It transforms “what could be” into “what is” and dissolves all doubt. When you will something, you no longer desire it to happen, you choose for it to do so. Remember that we were all given “free will” – you have the free will to create the reality of your choice.
Faith is the Antidote for Attachment
When you detach yourself from the outcome you will instantly feel your doubt and fear transforming into a deep sense of knowing and certainty – this is faith. Faith is the route to true detachment. It is the only way to willingly hand over your choices to the Omnipotence of the Universe of which you are a part. To have faith does not mean to sit back and wish things could be different.
It is to relax in the knowledge that your choice has already manifested in the mental realm from which all things manifest, and to take inspired action toward that specific outcome materializing in the physical world. Faith is not blind. To the contrary, it is “the evidence of things not seen”.
Making Detachment Effortless
Detachment comes naturally when you know, understand and apply the Truth that you are one with the Universal Mind – the All, the One Creator – for which nothing is impossible. Whenever you feel a sense of panic or a need to control the process whether it be in your day-to-day thoughts or during your creative visualization sessions, then know that you are in a state of attachment. In that moment, relax and remind yourself of the Truth that time is an illusion of the physical realm and that what you have chosen to experience is already here albeit simply in the process of transforming from a non-physical to a physical state. You are only ever in control when you do not have a need to control.
Do Not Confuse Detachment with Giving Up
To detach is not the same as giving up on your choices. On the contrary, it is to feel so certain of their manifestation in your life, that you no longer have to worry, wonder or even think about them. When you are detached you feel more powerful, determined and clear in your thoughts. You can tell whether you have detached or given up by gauging how you feel. Simply put, when you detach you feel empowered, when you give up you feel disempowered.
Letting Go Allows for Flow
When you are attached to the manifestation of a specific outcome, you place yourself in a state of resistance to what is, and as the saying goes “what you resist persists”. To detach shifts your state into one of total non-resistance where panic transforms into peace of mind and certainty. This is the state which allows life to flow. This is the state which allows for your desires to become your choice and your choice to become your reality.
It maximizes your thought power and allows your choices to manifest in the shortest period of time as you consciously align yourself with the Law of Attraction. It enables you to enjoy the process and know that everything is in perfect order as it is. When you are detached, life becomes a game to be enjoyed.
“This or Something Better”
Detachment allows you to experience the full gamut of life. You open yourself up to experiences and events infinitely more joyful than perhaps even those that you initially desired for yourself. This is why it is important to always say “this or something better” when you choose something in your life. When you can say that with all honesty, then you know you are truly detached.
In a nutshell, detachment is vital to allowing for your ideal reality to manifest in your physical world. Attachment breeds panic, fear and disempowerment which detachment transforms into peace of mind, certainty and empowerment. Detachment transforms your desire into your choice. The route to detachment is faith. The Truth that you are One with the Universal Mind and that everything in your outside world is a reflection of your inner world, makes detachment effortless.
About the author:
Tania Kotsos is the founder and author of Mind Your Reality http://www.mind-your-reality.com/ . She has been studying mind power and the nature of reality for the last 15 years. After a successful 10 year career as an investment banker in the City of London, she decided to throw in the towel to pursue her dream of empowering people to transform their lives using the innate power of their mind.